Beautiful, smart, friendly, funny, talented…that’s how I would describe many of my girl friends here at Iona. These girls have everything going for them, yet it seems to be a growing pattern that they are single, or worse involved with Iona guys who completely take advantage of them and don’t appreciate them.

The funny part is that these guys are often not as smart, motivated, or quite frankly as attractive as these girls that they take for granted.

So, what’s going on here? It seems to me that the disproportionate ratio of males to females at this school, a problem at many liberal arts colleges, is the source of this growing epidemic. According to online sources, there is about a 4 to 6 male to female ratio.

This hasn’t gone unnoticed by many Iona males. They treat girls like they are a dime a dozen because, in a way, they kind of are. If a guy treats a girl here like garbage, she has two choices: tolerate the terrible behavior or face the single life searching for a guy that will treat her right, which is not an easy feat with such a small male population.

I am regretful to admit that I, along with many of my friends, have put up with cringe-worthy behavior from Iona males. But many of us are finally realizing how utterly ridiculous it is to put up with this behavior.

When girls accept disrespect and continue to turn a blind eye and make excuses for a guy’s bad actions, it creates a vicious cycle in which the guy can get away with pretty much anything.

The thing that utterly perplexes me is how so many guys can be content gallivanting from girl to girl and never truly experiencing a meaningful relationship. I get that everyone wants to have fun in college, I really do. But isn’t that why college lasts for four years? It is perfectly acceptable to be immature and have fun freshman year, sophomore year, maybe even some of junior year. But doesn’t there come a point when you get sick of acting like a kid? Don’t you eventually want a little more out of life?

 

For many Iona males, this point of realization never seems to come. Perhaps it’s because they view college as a sort of four year long vacation.

They are away from home, live with friends and don’t have many real responsibilities – it can begin to feel like a fake, temporary world where your actions don’t really matter or have any consequences on your future in the so-called “real world.”

 This is where people are mistaken.  College is real life. You come here as a naïve teenager. Your choices and experiences during your almost half a decade here should help shape you into a well-rounded person, not an equally naïve 22-year-old.

Many men here will graduate without having experienced an actual healthy, honest relationship. Many of them are probably scoffing at this column, thinking they would never trade their years of reckless fun for a relationship.

To these guys, I just want to say good luck after college when the playing field is leveled, and there is actually a proportionate male to female ratio. I guarantee you that the offensive behavior you’ve been conditioned to think you can get away with will have women in the “real world” saying “on to the next one,” a saying that many of you currently live by.

 

To contact The Ionian’s Lauren Urban, e-mail her at [email protected].