Note: This article was featured in our 2017 April Fool’s issue.

Iona College announced on Tuesday that the cover band, The Fwiggles, will be performing for this year’s Spring Weekend.

The Fwiggles perform songs only from the children’s music group The Wiggles. According to front man and lead singer Jack Nicholson, the “F” in their name is silent.

“We thought that the name would pay homage to our favorite band, without risking a copyright lawsuit, you know?” Nicholson said.

The Iona College Gaels Activity Board (GAB) plans and executes Spring Weekend each year. Junior Amanda Cifelli, the series programming chair for GAB, said that the club is less than enthused for the band to perform.

“Honestly, they kept contacting us over and over again asking to perform,” Cifelli said. “It got to that point where we said yes just so that they would stop bugging us. What they lack in talent they definitely make up for in enthusiasm.”

The members of The Fwiggles met in 2000. After they were put in the same fifth grade class, they quickly bonded over two things: the fact that they were all named after middle-aged actors and that they all held a love for The Wiggles.

Their mutual love for the Australian children’s music group continued throughout their teenage years, where the five friends co-founded the first “Wiggles Appreciation Club” at their high school. It was during this time that The Fwiggles drummer, Robert de Niro, suggested the idea of a cover band.

“We all were a part of the music classes at our school at the time, and I figured, why not put our talents to good use?” de Niro said. “I approached my friends with the idea, and they immediately said yes.”

The Fwiggles started to perform at their high school talent shows. They currently perform in the children’s section of libraries, as well as local Chuck E. Cheese’s. Senior Patrick Lynch plans to be in the front row for the band’s performance at Iona.

“Even though having the real Wiggles here would be the true dream, I’m really, truly, super pumped to see The Fwiggles,” Lynch said. “I really can’t think of a better way to end my senior year than with a live performance from a Wiggles cover band!”

Rapper Kid Ink was last year’s performer for Spring Weekend, and The Fwiggles aren’t intimidated to follow the rapper’s performance.

“We have been preparing for all of our lives for this event,” Morgan Freeman, the band’s keyboard player, said. “We are confident that we can offer a performance that is at least mediocre!”

All jokes aside…

Want to know what’s really happening for Spring Weekend? GAB will reveal the Spring Weekend activities on April 3 at 8pm in the LaPenta Lot and Spellman Portico. At the event there will be free food, a chance to be entered into a raffle for a meet and greet with this year’s performer, and ticket sales will begin. The first 100 students at the event will get a free, exclusive Spring