New program will integrate ghosts into student body

Daiyna Roobiey Manahjing Ehdetour

Disclaimer: This article is an April Fool’s article featured in our 2018 April Fool’s issue. 

Iona College officials announced on Tuesday that the sixth floor of McSpedon Hall will be dedicated to serve the College’s growing ghost student population.

In recent years the College has been adamantly trying to recruit more ghost students.

“Ghost students offer a unique mindset that will be invaluable for Iona,” Casper the Friendly Ghost, head of the Ghost Integration Program in the Admissions department, said. “They have this added experience and wisdom that comes from existing for hundreds of years that you just don’t get from people who are still alive.”

The Ghost Integration Program was developed this past year as an attempt to recruit and include more ghost students on campus. The 2018-2019 academic year will be the first year that classes will be offered for ghost students. Students who are still alive will also be allowed to take these classes.

The new classes will count as both core and elective credits, according to the Friendly Ghost. Most classes offered will be similar to courses already held at Iona. That said, there will be several courses that will give mortal students the opportunity to learn about ghost history, and vice versa.

“In order for this integration to be successful, both populations need to know and respect each other and their histories,” the Ghost of Christmas Present, a member of the GIP, said.

As head of the program, Casper will oversee all classes throughout the year to make sure the program is as effective as possible. If it proves to be successful, the GIP will create more classes that will be open to both ghost and mortal students.

Iona is one of only ten higher education schools in the nation that is offering a Ghost Integration Program. Casper hopes that the success of Iona’s program will stand out by allowing alive students to sign up for the new classes as well.

“We want to make sure that the ghost students become more comfortable and established on campus during the first year of the program,” Casper said. “This can only be achieved if the ghosts are integrated with the mortal students.”

Iona’s program is trying to recruit both mortal and ghost professors to teach the classes. For now, Nearly Headless Nick—known best for his appearances in the “Harry Potter” book series—is the only confirmed ghost professor for next year.