I can’t do this again, and that’s okay.

Joseph Ferrer, Arts & Entertainment Editor

If you asked me at the start of my senior year how I thought I would feel while sitting down and writing my final opinion for the Ionian, I probably would have said that I’d be emotional and in tears as I typed out the last mark that I would leave on the school paper. If there was any article that I thought I wouldn’t have blank page syndrome with it would be this one, yet here I am.  


It’s not that I don’t have a shortage of memories and experiences to reflect on; that couldn’t be further from the truth. Within this past year alone, I’ve grown so much and had so many experiences from filming my first original short film to studying abroad in London that will stick with me for the rest of my life. I’ve worked incredibly hard to have gotten what I did out of my time at Iona, and I could spend this entire opinion lamenting how I’ll never get these years of my life again, but part of me doesn’t want to do that.  


I know that I’m going to deeply miss the times and the people that I’ve met while here at Iona that I won’t have the opportunity to see as often in the future. I could wish for these days to never end, but as I reflect on everything that I’ve done, part of me feels like there’s not a lot left for me to do. My first realization of this was when picking out my classes for my last semester, I had already taken almost every class in my major that I would have wanted to. I just finished writing the last review I’ll ever do as the Arts & Entertainment Editor, but what would one more article or issue of the paper allow me to accomplish that I haven’t already done? While the past four years helped me grow into who I am now and I’ve accomplished so much by doing things that I loved, I can’t get much more growth out of them anymore. It almost feels like finishing a good book, show or game that truly impacted you. The first time experiencing it was incredible as a whole but trying to relive that experience again will never make you feel how you did the first time through. If I could hypothetically restart these four years again, it would feel the same way. 


These feelings don’t invalidate how insanely appreciative I am of my friends and all of the opportunities I’ve had, but it’s sobering to realize that I’ve done all that I can here and that my next big moments lie beyond my undergrad experience. It’s a realization that makes me feel both melancholic and strangely content as I know that this won’t be my peak and I’m ready to move on to what life has next for me.  


I’m in a weird place to be writing this as I’m technically not done yet with my time at Iona given that I’ll likely be doing one more year for my master’s. While I’ll still be here for a little bit longer, I know things won’t be the same, and that’s okay. We won’t be able to have this time of our lives again, but I’m content with that because even though this chapter may be closing, this isn’t the end of my story or anyone else’s that I’m graduating with.