I’ve always hated Valentines Day – even when I had a boyfriend, I still thought the “holiday” was an excuse for retailers to make money and for males to try to wheedle their way into an unsuspecting females heart.

OK – so I am extremely cynical and skeptical, but a little bit of cynicism and skepticism never hurt anyone right?

Especially when my small amount of cynicism and skepticism is applied to love. Love has the ability to blind us – it has the ability to sweep us off our feet in this fairytale romance for us only to be dropped right back on the ground. It has the ability to make us feel higher than the clouds, on top of the world, king of the castle. Let’s face it: those high moments often leave us feeling empty, and Boy George’s single wouldn’t have done so well if love didn’t hurt.

These days when the average individual thinks of everlasting love, he or she may immediately think of the everlasting romance between Edward and Bella in the Twilight Saga.

As a lover of fiction and reading, I was a little disturbed when the Twilight phenomena took off at such a rapid pace. Children, young adults and adults of each sex were reading these novels and gushing over them at the dinner table, in coffee houses, in the classrooms, while walking through the streets, and any other place you might think of.

So as any inquisitive person would do, I borrowed the books from a friend, sat down and read them in 5 days. By the end of the experience, my friends expected me to be gushing over Edward and in love with the entire series. However, the perspective they got from me was a far cry of their expectations.

As a feminist and a critical thinker, I was appalled by the characters of Edward and Bella.

Author Stephanie Meyers tries to paint Edward as this perfect gentleman. He was born on June 20, 1901 and saved by Carlisle from the influenza in 1918.  Carlisle saved him by changing him into a vampire, but then helped him become a non-human killing vampire.

Edward takes a very proactive approach when it comes to Bella – he watches her sleep at night, stalks around her house, and is obsessed with her scent and his inability to read her mind. This sounds just like the romance that any girl wants to be involved in, right?

The truth remains that this situation paints a very clear dating image for young adolescent girls – a clear image that I find rather disturbing.

With this conception, women are seen as meek and subordinate as Bella succumbs to the affections of Edward and then to the affections of another dominant male, Jacob.

With this conception, it appears to be OK for any male to obsess over a girl, and stalk her, and she should be accepting of it as a portrayal of his love for her.

In reality, these things are not acceptable. We are living in the 21st century, and Rehnquist’s comments aside, women and men are considered equally protected and should be treated as such.

This means that dating and love should be a two-way street where the relationship is give and take, and each individual has their own space. As a book being read by maturing adolescents of both sexes, there needs to be serious discourse about the dating issues raised by the Twilight series.

In reality, love and relationships are complicated, difficult to maintain and imperfect. Men and women, especially around Bella’s age, rarely find “the one,” and will continue to search for an adequate partner. Relationships build up, relationships fall apart and sometimes relationships are an abusive disaster.

The Twilight saga promotes a destructive image of love and relationships to a growing number of wayward adolescents and young adults. This destructive image undermines women, promotes abusive behavior in relationships and pushes an antiquated style of dating upon the modern reader.

In lieu of Valentines Day, I challenge you to confront this issue and see how it plays out in your life. Love can be amazing if pursued in the right manner.

 

To contact The Ionian’s Heather Nannery, e-mail her at [email protected].