Now a junior in college, I would say that I have excelled in the strategic art of time management. I’m also using the Internet to brush up on my comic timing. If you didn’t catch the sarcasm, then I’m sorry—let me clear up the confusion: I am horrible at properly managing my time. Horrible. Let that word sink in. That means that when I have a reading due the next day, I’ll go through every channel, stop to watch Harry Potter (again) on HBO, refresh my News Feed, and put water on for tea. Everything but the work.

 

This year, however, things have to change. In order to juggle the few activities I’ve added to my plate, I’ll have to follow a set of Don’ts (considering that Dos would simply be to stop procrastinating). Feel free to check things off as you put off that paper due this week. 

 

Don’t…

 

Play Words with Friends. Sure, it’s a great, intellectual game, but you really don’t need to stare at the board trying to figure out what to do with seven vowels when you should open that book that has been sitting on your desk for two weeks.

Keep checking your email. Yes, we are all busy, but no one emailed you between now and the last minute.

 

Constantly check the time…on your phone. You have the clock on your laptop, so why are you reaching out for your phone? Or maybe you’re texting a fellow procrastinator? Or if you have one of those fancy phones, then you’re probably checking social media, which brings me to…

 

Go on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, tumblr or whatever you kids use these days. Yes, it is very entertaining to vicariously live through other people’s pictures. Yes, your friend posts the funniest TwitPics. Yes, that Australian girl really does make the funniest videos. And absolutely, those tumblr reblogs are just the greatest thing since sliced bread, but do you really need to keep checking these sites? Simple answer: No.

Suddenly realize you have to go on a cleaning spree. Good hygiene is important, but your shower doesn’t have to be sterilized this very moment.

 

Talk to anyone. Seriously. They will only further distract you by sparking up a conversation or talking about the latest Ryan Gosling gossip. Which brings me to…

Watch television/movies. Vigorously clicking through each channel won’t help. In fact, you’ll just get trapped by a Law & Order SVU marathon. (And don’t pretend otherwise.)

Go outside. This coincides with “Don’t talk to anyone,” but going outside also means being distracted by stores, cars, and other shiny things.

 

Go to the gym…again. I know it’s a great way to kill an hour or so, but you already went this morning, and the people at the front desk are starting to get worried.

 

Attempt to learn a new song. This is a personal Don’t and can be conjoined with “Don’t go on Facebook/Twitter…” You see that someone posted a song on their wall and suddenly, it becomes very important to look up the chords. “This sounds pretty easy,” you think. “I could do this in 20 minutes down.”

 

If you’re feeling overwhelmed while reading this list, bear in mind that no one is perfect. Each item was carefully crafted after I personally went through them. Doesn’t it take everyone two days to write a 600-word column?

 

To contact The Ionian’s Ranisha Singh, e-mail her at [email protected].