When I was in elementary school, I used to eat my lunch in a cafeteria much like our very own Vitanza Commons in Spellman Hall. We had a sushi bar, a grill, a deli and a salad bar all for our nutritional enjoyment. Actually, now that I think about it that may have been a dream, but I know for certain that I ate at a long table in a cafeteria. One aspect of lunch that I vividly remember from elementary school, however, is the focus on throwing out your trash.

I don’t know if I simply went to some authoritarian elementary school, but the school district found it necessary to employ a woman whose sole job was to stand in the front of the cafeteria and, using a microphone, announce when students could go onto the hot lunch line and to order students to throw away their trash. I remember the latter occurring in this fashion, “IF YOU DO NOT THROW OUT YOUR GARBAGE YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO HAVE RECESS AND YOU WILL BE FORCED TO WEAR A SCARLET ‘L’ ON YOUR CLOTHING TO SYMBOLIZE YOUR STATUS AS A it.” Instead, let’s all partake in a little more exercise and maybe even throw away trash in the garbage can farthest from where we are sitting (preferably a can that is not already filled)! If we fail to reconcile this problem, I will be the first to personally encourage Iona to hire me to scream into a microphone threatening lazy litterers, just like the good old times of elementary school.

To contact The Ionian’s Amanda Kelly, e-mail her at [email protected]