On Valentine’s Day, the highly anticipated and highly sexual blockbuster “50 Shades of Grey” was released for middle-aged and single women alike to ogle and stare at the sexual powerhouse that is Christian Grey and the 21-year-old college senior Anastasia Steele whom Grey uses for his BDSM fantasies.

BDSM is the acronym for bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism.

While nothing is wrong with healthy, consensual sex BDSM play, “50 Shades of Grey” goes beyond discipline and control that occurs exclusively in the bedroom and transcends into Anastasia’s everyday life.

In the weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day, members of the Iona College Counseling Center went from classroom-to-classroom to give the annual “Love Shouldn’t Hurt” lecture.

During this lecture, counselors give students examples of abusive relationships and urge students to speak out and get help if they believe they, or someone they know, is in an abusive relationship.

Over 30 percent of college students have experienced relationship abuse, and if Anastasia and Christian were a real couple, their relationship would be considered abusive by the Counseling Center.

Anastasia meets Christian once before he starts stalking her, which is considered a sign of abuse. Later on in the story Anastasia is out with friends when Christian calls her, saying that he would find her.

“I didn’t tell him where I was,” Anastasia says on page 26 of the book. “He can’t find me here.”

Lo and behold, Christian shows up.

After Anastasia admits that she is a virgin, she and Christian have sex for the first time.

During their second sexual encounter, Christian announces on page 53, “Every time you move tomorrow, I want you to be reminded that I’ve been here. Only me. You are mine.”

This quote reveals that he is controlling and possessive which are more signs of abuse.

When the BDSM sex starts to occur, Anastasia becomes scared and nervous, but she lets Christian have his way anyway.

Emma Green from “The Atlantic” explains the abuse Anastasia goes through perfectly, saying, “Sometimes, Ana[stasia] says yes to sex she’s uncomfortable with because she’s too shy to speak her mind, or because she’s afraid of losing Christian; she gives consent when he wants to inflict pain, yet that doesn’t prevent her from being harmed.”

The word “assault” shows up often when Anastasia is describing sex with Christian. “Sudden assault,” “merciless assault,” and “sensual assault” are some of the phrases she uses to describe their encounters. Sex between the two characters is often described as consensual, but how often is the word assault used to describe consensual sex?

Although mostly negative, there are some positive things to highlight about their relationship. Contraception is used almost every time Christian and Anastasia have sex, and safe words like “green, yellow and red” are used, which illustrate how comfortable each partner is during sex. Even though the idea behind the safe words is evident, they were never used as they were supposed to.

Putting those points aside, the relationship that is depicted in “50 Shades of Grey” meets over two-thirds of the Counseling Center’s signs of an unhealthy relationship.

Yes, these characters are fictitious, and although not all relationships include the use of BDSM play in their sexual life, many of the signs and characteristics of abuse are all too real.

21 percent of college students report that they have experienced dating violence, and women ages 16 to 24, just like Anastasia, have the highest rate per capita of relationship violence.

Even though the books and movie have been widely well-received by women, Christian and Anastasia’s relationship is abusive.