If I found a time machine under Mazzella Field, I would regret not spending more time on the field these past 3 years at this university. Then, my mind would race with so many different times and places to travel back to. Instead of picking some historical and impactful time on Earth, I would most likely travel back to a time in my life that I wish I knew more about. The biggest thing about my life that I’ve been most curious about is my birth parents.

I was born on May 19th, 2004 in San Antonio, Texas. I was put up for adoption and lived in a foster home for only 8 days until my “adoptive” parents and brother (air quotes just because that is the correct term, but I don’t refer to my parents as that) picked me up and brought me to our home in Staten Island, NY.

For many years of my life, I barely knew anything about my ethnic background and who my birth mother is.  However, in 2021, I did a ancestry.com test and that’s when my parents decided to show me my birth mother’s questionnaire. Before a mother gives her baby up for adoption, she is given a questionnaire to fill out, which is then given to the adoptive family.

The questions are pretty generic like what’s your favorite color and what was your favorite subject in school.  Since knowing about this questionnaire, I’ve wished there was a way to go back in time as my current self, and meet my birth mother to ask her all of these questions and more. When it comes to specifics, I would rather travel back to a few months after the adoption was complete. I would rather do this than travel back to the right before giving birth to me, because I feel like there would be so many different emotions and possible life changing thoughts. I also couldn’t imagine myself in a life without the family I was brought into.

I think August of 2004 would be a good point to travel back to. As my current self, I would first tell my birth mother how I’ve grown up and the traits and interests I’ve gained. I would ask her what hobbies she had and what things shaped her into who she was at the time.I think the main thing I would like to do is reassure her that I’m not angry about the decision she made.

From the questionnaire,  I know she loved poetry, which I do as well, so we would definitely bond over that. Growing up, I was so used to people viewing adoption as a sad thing, because you’re not “wanted.” However, that is not the case in my eyes now. I was given a second chance by being brought into such a loving and safe family.