Since high school, I’ve always needed a pair of headphones with me at all times. I’m also a person who misplaces things quite often. Whenever I lose or break my headphones, life gets put on a pause until I find or replace them. Basically, music helps me process almost everything in some way.
With these songs that I’ve chosen, I would have them on a constant repeat until I either wanted to move on from how I felt or I wanted to cherish the appreciation of both the moment and song.
“Waiting Room” By: Phoebe Bridgers: This song was very prevalent during the early grieving after my mother passed away. To me, this song is how I feel about the grief I’ve experienced. My mother was diagnosed with cancer when I was little, and it just kept coming back. When she passed, there were so many mixed emotions within me. Of course there was pain. But, I also knew that she wouldn’t be hurting anymore. She’s safe now. This song is about how when something you’ve experienced is so gut-wrenching, but you try to see the bright side. For the artist, the song was written for a completely different situation, but for me, It’s the way I struggled to see the bright side of the darkest time of my life so far.
“American Teenager” By: Ethel Cain: This song was heavily listened to by me at the start of my junior year at Iona. It was my first semester living in Rice Hall, but most of my friends lived in North Hall. So, every night I would walk back from North Hall at 1:00 or 2:00AM. To me, this song is about being brave enough to face the obstacles of life, especially after having a rough year. There’s this tone of confidence and invincibility in the lyrics.
“Right Now” By Gracie Abrams: In my opinion, this is one of the more underrated Gracie Abrams songs. It feels so comforting yet so sad at the same time. Whenever I listen to it, I remember one moment when my boyfriend and I just held each other, without even speaking for a while, as we listened to it. In that moment, I realized what the song truly meant to me. It’s about missing my past self but at the same time, I know it’s time to let go of some things. I think of the beautiful and new elements of my current life, and I feel like myself now. The song’s message of how change hurts is something that I never thought I would be fully okay with. However, being hurt by changes is what makes us human. There’s a lyric that is “I feel like myself right now,” and it means so much to me. It was when my boyfriend held me that day, in which I knew how proud I was of the person I’ve become.