Throughout my life, my kindness has been something that many people admire, and even applaud me for.
But sadly, it often leads to other people treating me badly. I’m forced to think that being nice is what makes me weak. And then, I’m stuck in this trap, thinking everything will be okay, because I should still help them. I can change them. Right?
No. You only live once. You deserve to be surrounded by people who try their best to brighten your world, as much as you do for theirs.
I’ve recently lost a close friend of mine due to drama that won’t matter in a few years.
And to be fully honest, I’m still in shock with how easy it was for them to end it. Especially since they were pretty vocal with how much they cared about me. And It does hurt, because I will miss the memories I’ve made with them.
When I’m accused of not being a person who doesn’t value friendship, my heart hurts for both me and my younger self. Friendship has been a vital part of my life and it’s something that I never want to take advantage of. And in no way, shape or form, am I trying to say that I’m a perfect friend. Because I know I’m not. No one can be.
People grow apart, and we need to remember that it’s okay. Life is for growth and change. Of course, there will be pain, and possible regret. However, if you’re starting to realize that there is something off, and you feel that this person is causing negativity in your life, allow yourself to let it go.
This person and I were so used to being sad together, we honestly tried to make jokes out of it. But every day, it became harder and harder for me, and I felt lonelier. Until I didn’t. And now, I feel so much support from new relationships that I’ve made.
Once they made their decision to stop being friends, I’ve tried again and again to find possible ways I could’ve been in the wrong.
After this whole situation ended, I was talking to another friend about it, and they asked, “what could you have possibly done to deserve that?”
It was in that moment, I truly realized, the answer was that I became happy again.
To the person this is about, if you’re reading this:
I will remember every time you said you could never lose me.
I will remember every time you said that you could trust me.
I will remember every time you said I’m one of the sweetest people you’ve met.
And, last, but certainly not least. I will always remember that I am a kind person.
And deep down, I know you will too.
