I am tried. I have only slept at most three hours, which has once again become the norm. I can barely open my eyes. I have to do some much. Not only I am a full time student with extracurricular activities with office hours to visit and position papers due, but I must come home every day to do my other full time job being the oldest daughter of an immigrant household.  

I do not have time for anything. I say this when I am about to finish the last cover letter for another internship. I have to look for a second job too. Yes, I am aware there is a labor shortage and that there are jobs everywhere, but I will spare the inflation discussion like I do every time I see an erroneous post on Instagram. Speaking of jobs, I have to do work for one I already have. There is always somewhere I have to be, so there are no set deadlines in my life. I should probably take a break, but I can always do something, there is something I can do.  

Why am I like this? This could probably answer that last thought. Yesterday, I spent more than two hours studying on an assignment that I finished in less than 10 minutes. It was quite devastating, as I realized that the sun would rise pretty soon. I think I have grown accustomed to everything going wrong.  

I am the greatest writer of my generation. This is the most pretentious sentence any young writer can say. I do not like to say affirmations, but I quite like this one. Not because I actually believe it – my self-esteem needs all the help it can get – rather it sounds prophetic. I like to think about how I or anyone else can make something out of themselves that will make an impact far beyond their original audience.  I guess all that academic validation really went to my head. What will I do when I am no longer in school? Luckily, for me law is considered an academic discipline.  

All my friends hate me. This is the thought, one that I really do not like. I have not seen friends that are on campus for almost two weeks. I am not kidding. Instead of responding to text messages, I am at the library, particularly at the third desk on the third floor near the political science books. I am trying my best, I really am. I will text everyone back once I am done researching the rights of protestors. I am not really interesting anyways.  

College is difficult. It is both going way too fast and incredibly slow at the same time. It does not help that I will graduate early. There is so much, it overwhelms me. I know I am trying my best, but it does not feel like it. Well, I guess I have more to think about on next week’s bus ride home.